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Archive for November, 2013

Emotions and Mental Well Being

My first time sitting before the dreaded educated panel of teachers, psychologists, special ed coordinator, and principal felt like the inquisition. They asked about my pregnancy and if I had difficulties. Other than the regular morning sickness and oh geez, the dreaded glass of wine I’d had before I knew I was pregnant, nothing except I’d been 2 weeks over due with my first child. And I had lots of depression because I was unhappy with my new home, job, and the fact that winter in Minnesota lasted forever, rather than the regular 6 months is Utah.

As a result of depression, sadness, or the feeling on loneliness, I wondered if my emotions affected my son. He was my first and generally a happy little guy with a beautiful smile who was really good. However, I didn’t understand how good til I had 3 boys together.

Our unborn children feel and hear all that we do. Anyway, studies show this.–       “Everything the pregnant mother feels and thinks is communicated through neuro-hormones to her unborn child, just as surely as are alcohol and nicotine,” states Dr. Thomas Verny whose books, professional publications, and founding of the Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH) and Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health, have established him as one of the world’s leading authorities on the effects of prenatal environment on personality development.

He says that the baby will “absorb” negative feelings as well as positive feelings.

Many times our negative emotions are even a result of what we listen to, watch in movies or TV, or choose to read. It is also a reflection of the foods we eat and the vitamins and minerals we take in our supplements.

Would I have passed on better vibes or emotions and thus giving my children a higher learning opportunity had I known about the better supplements? These are things I am exploring, so I can help my future grandchildren and hope to pass this on to my community.

Dr. Ladd McNamara and OB/GYN and an independent business owner in USANA states that prenatal care begins when a young woman first starts menstruating. He says that sometimes we don’t know when we’ll get pregnant, so prepare our bodies early.

For right now, if you’re pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant find time to replenish your emotional strength. Reach out to a church or even a group at the library of young moms or young moms to be. They are learning as much as you and just sharing a moment at the park is valuable.

Please feel free to share the info you have from books, doctors, or experiences. Bottom line is that we all want a healthier future generation. I see progress in even the strollers that are made now as opposed to when I was a young Mom. I’d have loved a jogging stroller for 3. I walked all over the place. I’d have also loved more info on nutritional supplements. What I read never gave me enough info. All I knew was I needed folic acid, more calcium, and not too much Vitamin A. I also needed sleep.

My children are adults and I see how my emotions affected their lives through the years and no, I wasn’t all together unhappy, but I do know that I was more stressed than I needed to be. We all have stresses in life–loss of jobs, higher than usual medical bills or just other debt. And usually it came in threes. Learning how to handle things with less stress is a chore, but well worth it.

Let me know what you think.

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I Have Been There and You Don’t Have to be There Alone

It was 1989 and I’d finally gotten to see the movie Parenthood. I laughed and cried through the movie. The part where the parents were in the principal’s office and the teacher was telling them about their son’s progress, Steve Martin and Mary Steenburgen looked at each other talking about what could have caused their son to have emotional issues fitting into the mold of the classroom, I was the only one laughing. If you don’t laugh, you cry and I was at a point in life where the school was calling me all the time because of what is deemed learning disabilities as opposed to learning differences. I was on the 5th year of such conversations and terms such as “shallow end of the gene pool. three short of a 6-pack,” and thoughts of being whispered about behind my back because people just thought I was a “bad parent,” or oh my, the tag of “dysfunctional family,” ran through my head. What was wrong with me? What was wrong with my beautiful sons? Why didn’t we fit in? I felt entirely alone. We were all looney tunes. I knew I needed help, but what kind?

Dysfunction wasn’t something people talked about. It was something hidden behind closed doors and we tried to maintain a “public image” when leaving our  home. I kept the blinds closed often, so the world couldn’t leak in. I dreaded going back to school after a break or a weekend.

I wasn’t alone. I just didn’t know who to talk to to or really who to “trust.”

People are allowed to talk about their substance abuse, alcoholism, or anything else other than learning problems, ADD, ADHD, or even mental issues. Luckily, things have evolved enough for parents to seek out help, but it’s still unacceptable to be different.

I remember phrases such as–“Einstein was a late bloomer,” or “People told Edison’s mother he needed to be put in an institution,” and my all time favorite was “God knew you could handle these kids.” And the reference of “These kids,” really irritated me. “We don’t prepare ‘These Kids’ for college.

As parents, we want “These kids” to be healthy, productive, understood, but most of all self-loved.

I’ve since learned that many things could be helped by essential vitamins and minerals that perhaps was missing because we weren’t totally aware of the ingredients in foods we fed our children or perhaps there wasn’t enough money at times to feed them more than ramen noodles and beans and a glass of milk.

This blog is dedicated to helping Moms, Dads, Grandparents, or anyone else searching for answers with a place to post information or questions, so that someone may not feel they are drowning in “the shallow gene pool.” It’s really not shallow at all, just misunderstood and misdiagnosed at times. It is also here to help post and find  info on education and nutrition, which starts with a future mom and her prenatal care.

I’ve heard from an OBGYN a young woman should take prenatal vitamins long before she gets pregnant, sometimes as soon as she starts having menstruation cycles. So please, do research and keep yourself healthy. Even in spirit.